The Four Most Common Lines In the English Language

Do you know who wrote Mary Had a Little Lamb? Born in 1788, her name was Sarah Josepha Hale and she was a feminist. Hale was a self-educated woman who eventually became a teacher. She also wrote short stories and verse in her spare time. After her husband died, she wrote a novel to critical acclaim and became an editor of a magazine. Hale also became the editor of a children’s magazine called Juvenile Miscellany. In 1830 her poem, originally titled Mary’s Lamb, first appeared.

Here it is:

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece as white as snow
And every where that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go.

Hale began to travel in esteemed social circles, with the likes of Oliver Wendell Holmes and other well-thought-of people of her day. She also petitioned several presidents to get Thanksgiving recognized as a legal holiday. (Abraham Lincoln finally approved the measure.) In addition, she kicked off the movement to have Mount Vernon recognized as a historic landmark. Thomas Edison used her little poem for the first-ever sound recording on his invention — the phonograph.

Hale wrote many brilliant pieces during her lifetime, but is remembered for what are probably the best-known four lines in the English language.

— Adapted from the mental_floss website

 

 Puns to Ponder

• Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

•  Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot ’round the world.

•  Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

•  A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

•  Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

•  A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

•  A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Amal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

•  These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

•  And finally, there was a person (guess who?) who sent 10 different puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

— From the Today’s Senior website