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Prepare to Worry or Worry to
Prepare
 Do you feel you’ve always been a worrier? If so, you’re not alone,
according to Robert Leahy, author of
The Worry Cure.
Many people often say, “I’ve been a worrier all my life,” Leahy said. The
question is, why do people worry if it makes them feel so bad?
Leahy said people worry for a variety of reasons, but one big reason is that
worriers are intolerant of uncertainty. Worriers believe that they have to know
what the outcome will be or there will be some kind of catastrophe awaiting
them. The problem, Leahy said, is that worriers almost always overestimate the
negative outcomes and underestimate their ability to handle what does happen.
Not only that, said Leahy, but worriers often forget that their worries in the
past have mostly turned out to be for naught.
People also worry, he said, because the act of worrying itself delays the onset
of anxiety. This means that while you are worrying, you are avoiding the
emotional experience while you’re thinking. However, once you’ve exhausted
yourself from worry, the anxiety bounces back, seemingly from out of the blue,
and can be more frightening.
Leahy said worriers usually feel like they have to know the answer to what they
are worrying about right now. They experience a great sense of urgency about the
matter. They believe they are being responsible by worrying because they think
they are preparing to avoid something bad. They believe that by worrying they
are taking control of their lives. Unfortunately, Leahy said, worrying keeps
worriers from living their lives in the present, where all the good things
happen, and keep them mired in a potentially never-occurring future. To top it
off, many times when worriers become aware of their worrying they start worrying
about worrying, believing they are going crazy or that there is something wrong
with them.
“Chick Flicks” Not Just For the Ladies
 A
study by a psychology professor at Kansas State University has found that both
men and women enjoy romantic “chick flick” movies, despite stereotypes that lead
both sexes to believe men don’t like them. Professor Richard Harris used a
seven-point scale and asked men and women to rate a romantic movie they had just
watched. Then he asked the couples to estimate how much their dates had liked
the film. Both men and women predicted that the man in the couple would not like
the romantic movie, but when the men were asked to rate the movie they gave it a
4.8, while women gave it a six.
“Everyone thinks that women like romantic movies and that they drag guys along
to them,” Harris said. “What was significant was that the guys also like the
movies and that the choice to view a romantic movie was usually made together as
a couple, not just by the girl.”
Harris said he was surprised at the amount of stereotyping the subjects used
when it came to predicting what men would like. For example, when Harris asked
the men and women if they thought men in general would like the movie, they both
said they did not think so, even though the man who had just watched the movie
had enjoyed it.
When women were asked what scene they and then their dates would choose to play
in the film, the women most often chose a romantic scene for themselves, but
felt their dates would choose a sex scene. Harris said that while many men did
select sex scenes, the number was not nearly as high as what the women
predicted, with many men choosing romantic scenes for themselves. |
