According to Leif Hokanson Smith of Personal Best Consulting (www.personalbestconsulting.com), to be effective you have to keep a few things in mind. Here is his list of recommendations:

•  Don’t focus on the obstacle. Instead focus on what your personal strengths are so your energy is brought to bear where it is needed.

•  Reduce your stress. Ask yourself if you’re merely being high maintenance at times, and if the answer is yes, then stop. Here are some ways to reduce stress:

   a) Allow more time to finish tasks.

   b) Don’t set arbitrary goals such as “I will work out for two hours and only consume liquids for the rest of the day.”

   c) Let go of excuses to which you are clinging in order to explain away your lack of success.

   d) Stop being defensive. Your self-esteem is not something that can be easily destroyed.

    e) When you’re hungry, eat good food.

    f) Stop doing things you don’t enjoy.

•  Stop assuming others want to make you angry or be disrespectful to you. Most people don’t walk around intentionally trying to get other people’s goats. Give others the benefit of the doubt. It’s likely what they’re doing has very little to do with you personally.

•  Get some perspective. Anytime you feel yourself being sucked into a vacuum of negativity, ask yourself “What’s funny about this?” It’s a sign of intelligence to find the humor in your struggles.